My New Year’s Resolution was to read through the Bible this year, and I’m pleased to report that I am on track even though my commitment has wavered several times in the midst of Leviticus.

Here is my daily ritual:
1) Drag myself out of bed. (Easier said than done.)
2) Start one cup of water (plus a pinch of salt) to boil.  Meanwhile start reading the day's inspiration from my King James Version One Year Bible (which includes a brief Old Testament passage, New Testament passage, Psalm and Proverb for each day of the year).
3) When the water starts to boil, dump in 1/3 cup of oatmeal, and reduce heat to medium.  Continue reading for exactly five minutes occasionally yawning, stretching, wiping gunk out of my eyes, and trying to fathom Leviticus.
4) When the five minutes are up, cover the pot and remove from heat, read two more minutes.  By this time, I am well into the New Testament section (currently Mark) and beginning to wake up.
5) After two minutes are up, pour out the oatmeal, add cinnamon and brown sugar, move to the kitchen table, continue reading the Psalm and Proverb for the day.

It's all prescribed somewhere in the book of Leviticus:
"And the Lord spake unto Mickey, saying unto him,  Thou shalt eat of the seed of the oat daily, during which thou shalt meditate upon my law.  The third part of the cup of the oat thou shalt eat every morning lest thou wither by noon.  Thou shalt not eat of the beasts with the cloven foot which doeth not chew the cud, nor the fat of the donut or the cholesterol of the egg, but only of the profitability of the oat... daily.  The one is unclean unto thee and the other is clean (and cheap).  Feed thou on the third part of the oat and the brief part of the Law, and thou shalt be awakened with grace and forgiveness for the doing of your deeds, for the parting of your ways, and for the going off to work in the harvest, the mine fields or the chamber of commerce.  Doing so, thou shalt tolerate the stress of the workplace, the multitude of thy tasks, and the difficulty of thy customers, and thou shalt have peace and calm throughout the day."

But I can’t help but wonder why some of those rules are there.  Leviticus 11 forbids the eating of the hare or the swine or “of all that are in the waters and do NOT have both fins and scales.”  Hey, that last part included one of Jacksonville's famous fine dining experiences - catfish!  Now catfish is one of God's best creations and here He was keeping it from the poor Israelites.  That seems to be cruel and unusual punishment.

And that King James English is a hoot.  Early in Exodus 32 I found this gem:
"We wot not what is become of him."  "Wot Not" - Isn't that a great phrase?

Brings several fond remembrances to mind:

1) My grandmother used to have hundreds of wot nots all sitting on a shelf.  Most of them were salt and pepper shakers. She had the biggest collection of salt and pepper shakers I ever saw.

2) It also reminds me of my friend in Clarendon who embellished "you know."  Every place where a Valley Girl would say, "…you know," he said, "…and all this that and the other."  Used it about every third sentence out of his mouth and all this that and the other.  Made his part of the conversation kinda long and all this that and the other.  But hey!  It was colorful and all this that and the other.  Well, we sometimes ask, "Whacha doing?"  To which I reply, "All this that and the other… and wot not."  Yeah, wot not is a synonym for "all this that and the other."

3) Actually Webster defines it this way: “(Archaic), first and third person singular, present indicative of wit (to know).”  Then tracing this wonderful word to its root "wit," Webster explains:  “(Archaic), to know or learn.”

"Wit" was conjugated, in the present indicative:
I wot
thou wost or wot(t)est
he, she, it wot or wot(t)eth
we, ye, they wite or witen

Of course the only modern remnant of this worthy word is "to wit", meaning “that is to say; namely.”

Well, I wot not what the King Jim is always talking about.  In fact, in the same few chapters I found that the Lord called the Israelites a "stiffnecked people."  Interesting phrase - stiffnecked.  I know redneck, but I wot not "stiffnecked."

And there’s another thing I wot not.  I always thought that God wrote only the ten commandments on the stone tablets, but in fact God wrote all of Exodus chapters 20-32 on the tablets.  I wot not that.  Must have been some mighty fine print, to wit, Times New Roman 8 point or some such or wot not.

Did you wost all that or did you wost not like me? I wot it not.

As usual, I've got more questions than answers.  I don't doubt the Good Book, I just don't understand all the details.  When I get up to the great hereafter, I'm gonna spend a few centuries asking God all my questions.  And I get a few more to add to my list every morning with my oatmeal.